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An ending 6:34 p.m. 2005-02-27 Your happiness was a dirge as the wind swept these tears aside. Your words can cut me in so many pieces even after you are dead and gone. You killed this and why can't I kill you? There never was anything fair about it and I hate that I jst want you to be happy, even when it kills me. and the banner says 'we never had a chance, did we' but what it really says is that we never change and I am dying over and over again for failure to adapt. And do you want to know what I'm feeling? I'm feeling lonely and more than a little hurt. I am waking up to the things i tried to escape in sleep and none of it will go away. Your perfection is my suicide and your letters are my addiction. You are my poison my cure my razor my bandage. You are the tears and the shoulder. But really you are nothing because this is all in my head now. You severed ties discreetly and elegantly and i'm left imagining this hurt and this love together and the worst part is I know what I'm doing to myself. I remember one time i sat next to you for hours and I was bleeding and you never knew. I remember we were together for days and it didn't matter and now I hate these memories. I want it all to stop. I want... back & forth |