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Sam Malone
12:34 a.m. 2004-11-07

I am in numb disillusion and shocking silence as the line went dead behind the whispering of your sweet goodbyes. Everything you said was the cause of this blindness and my eyes are bleeding in empathy because invisible wounds aren't cartaurized by your blunt hurt. But the fact is it isn't your fault... not really. And i'm trying to find comfort in the fact that you found solace in his arms for one night and everything that took place isn't the end of the world. I can forgive you i can't forget. And i'll sit here paralysed with jealousy because he took what i could never have and he never even tried. I wish i could be him to you without this taint. I know i love you and i know i forgive you but i don't know if i can ever lay next to you again not after all the paint that was wasted spilling agony across canvas. I don't know if we'll ever be what we were and its not your fault and its not my fault and everything just fell apart so fast. In a way, i wish you loved him because then this would be over for real and i could pretend that it had all been a nightmare.
And thank you for listening tonight, because just the sound of your voice coupled with this verse would signal the dawning of a morning that i swear won't be the end of me.... and sometimes i wish i could start over but to leave you all behind would be so hard.

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly