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It starts the same as it ends like the words i tried to say that never made any sense 10:46 p.m. 2004-06-30 you were never one for mirrors or taking time in rooms for selfdiscovery. You never made the time to talk or realized the neccessity of love. You never understood why i need to destory myself. But i was sitting here with a computer screen and a black window and i was wondering if you every really saw a thing. We were together and there's always been a chance that these things i say mean something to you, but i've never really been sure. Your eyes have carried a hint of eagerness and just a trace of boredom and your gaze was always anywhere but mine. And when i said i'd do it, was it anything to you? Just another plea something you'd heard so many times before. Did you ever really understand? And the thing that hurts the most is, some stupid email from some stupid friend tore it all to pieces and revealed me utterly, some forward that meant nothing to anyone but showed everyone my true colors. It hurts to know no one looked, no one understood, or maybe no one cared. Because i have nothing left to hold onto except the conviction that these eyes are not blind and my soul is somewhere deep inside waiting for salvation because everyone wants to hear something different and no one wants to hear my side of this story. So this time we'll shrivel up like flowers and our beauty will burn and i will become this diseased flame stretching into tomorrow, a reversion of hearts and a new version of truth, made specially for you back & forth |