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9:34 p.m. 2004-04-12

Its so simple these midnight revelations that reveal everything... for a few moments. This window is see through and transparent but in the blink of an eye this whole world is hidden once more.

And i've been thinking, about oh so much and about everything and nothing matters.

Did you know that this hurt comes so simply, slipping through the cracks we never even knew existed. Why do we hurt? because we can't change, we don't want to change, or maybe we don't know how. But the simple fact is... this world is different every time we turn around and the ones that hurt the worst are the ones who haven't thrown themselves into the cycle. Its nothing cataclysmic giving yourself over, its so god damned liberating. The simple fact is this river is beautiful

At the basis of all this, its over as soon as it began and something else is starting. And music is beautiful as it captures that moment of beginning and ending and lets you relive it. But the point is... this isn't the same as it used to be and unless you catch up and accept this you're never going to get any better.

And i just want you to know that its rapture, adrift in this shimmer shook world of music and thoughts and dreams, when memories and dreams blend together in the stream and you're floating, legs crossed hands behind your head, through everything you ever loved. And the rainstorms coming down around you sing ripples through this river and no storm could disrupt you once you're on this course because everything becomes beautiful.

The only thing that could stop you is you-- and i may get hung up sometimes but its only temporary i'm searching-- and i feel that i'm something special to someone (what do i mean to you?)

And for the first time since i can remember these tears taste my eyelids in joy, simple, tranquil, heartwrenching peace, its all over and inside and everywhere around, and i haven't told you how beautiful the world has looked lately. Everything is silvery and serene and somehow these colors seem so vividly in focus. Tonight things aren't as they should be, but i am how i was meant to be and this perfection is staggering

And i was made to share it with you

Tonight is a reaffirmation of my selflessness and love for all of you. And maybe i haven't shown it enough lately but these words won't lie and i love you. (you are all there is) Let me take away your doubt and worry and share this tearful love with you.

maybe you've forgotten what its like to have someone love you this much

Maybe you don't know how well i know you (i can feel every inch of you inside my heart)

sorry if i'm a bit unclear i'm a bit overwhelmed... let me share this with you

i love you all so very much

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly