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Where did you go? Far away...
4:12 p.m. 2003-12-07

I've always felt this way....

Somethings never change, but nothing ever stays the same. The dimensions are constantly rewriting themselves and most of us can't keep up, the rest never even notice the changing. i never knew there were so many sad people before i moved here. Every life teachs me, i'm beginning to see that, and in some way they add onto each other instead of taking away from the whole. But i'll still be empty without this. Thank you for the wonderful night last night, and i just hope you had a good time, hope it wasn't too stressful, because i think everyone who deserved to enjoyed it. I did.

-Piano interludes in the middle of heavy metal-

I whispered these words in your ear last night. You look around at a gathering of people like the one from the night before, and everyone seems to be content. But if you look at them the right way, you can see the turmoil bubbling beneath. They all express it too, in different ways. If you watched her, sitting there, staring into space, mouth set in a line. Did u know she didn't laugh once that night? hardly said a word. Look at the other girl, soul disappearing behind the drugs she buries herself with. She's hardly even herself anymore. Watch the boys, one smiling and hurting everyone, his hand red from the pain. He jokes and pretends its a game, but he's probably scared because... he doesn't understand why he's hitting them. Look at the other boy, he hates everyone and if you think about it, its probably because he hates himself because he knows there's something wrong with him, but he can't figure it out. And she's so lost, floating around trying to find herself trying to find a reason trying to find something or someone to hold onto. And she's made the wrong choices, grabbing onto people who ignore her needs and just look for what they can get from her. I want to save you girl. here are my hands take them. Its sometimes staggering to think of how many people are drowning, and it makes me so damn sad.

I want you to know that i'm here, any of you, if you ever need something, someone to alk to, someone to care about you, someone to just laugh with or draw pictures together. if you ever need anything, i'll be right here waiting, if you need someone to abuse, someone to crucify someone to hate and rage at, i'll be here. Because i love you enough to take the weight you're carrying and make it my own, and i love you enough to let you knock me to my knees and break me. I won't ever break i'll get back up and carry on. If you need anything at all i'm here and i'll be here forever.

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly