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Never Again
9:14 p.m. 2003-09-25

there are so many things going through my head and so few of them really matter... to me

I am too weak to ever be my own person, too strong to give myself to anyone, too stupid to see a good thing when i have it, too smart to fall for all of these tricks. But mostly, I'm scared and I'm ashamed, and, unlike all of you, I don't want to feel better. Because that would mean i hoped for something better, and I don't, because hope has broken me too many times before.

Its hard to think right now and I'm too cold to breath this life into my heart. My soul is to heavy and I'm beginning to remember why I forbid myself to want. Its because it hurts

For just a day it was perfect, but I'll never do it again.

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly