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Is it time to leave?
11:37 p.m. 2009-09-20

A push of a button and a flickering of the eyelids and these four whitewashed walls are nothing but a roiling endless silence and the still, final serenity of darkness. A gesture more and there is nothing but music and I can finally breath easy despite the whisky and the cigarettes. We are haunted so constantly, an unceasing swarm of gaunt and ethereal personages that flick and flitter smoky in the quiet moments between inane thoughts and the rising tide of revelation. We are caught up in the smothering crush of these ghosts as they parade mirage steady choking through every room and every suffocating hallway; they pass mournful through every pore and every hunk of aged and neglected drywall while they moan their plea whistling in low and muttering voices. Close your eyes and the voices swirl to violent gibbering cacophony, a maelstrom of every wish and prayer and bitter biting condemnation any of us has every made. So much we keep to ourselves, so much we feed into the gray and trying tethers of our faceted guttural ghosts- a million thoughts desires and shirked perceptions siphoned from ourselves into the phantasmagorical freakshow of our mirrored and alien wisp reflections. The air is lousy with them and the more we feed them the more they populate, multiplying in a shuffling mess of tangled limbs till there’s hardly any room left to breath. Find someone to share a little release with and some of the may be strangled- for a time- but the fragile webs of our relationships are always molting into dust and we’re always left with nothing but our phantoms. Why do we hide the graying and eery parts of ourselves away till they become these ghosts that haunt us and keep us from getting any sleep? Why would we rather be proud than honest? And why would we rather be alone with our shames stuttering crippled steps and rank whorled whispers? Why do we hide in the darkness where all of our fears wait hunched and dark to keep us company? What are we so desperate for? And what are we so scared of?

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly