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1:17 a.m. 2005-12-20

Disquiet to echo this threnody dearheart, the lament lost in echoes of wind and the reverence of calamity amidst tender silence. The nighttime air caresses sick souls and nurtures this illness to the point of crippling. I stand unwell and unreserved blatantly emphasizing the ruination i see amidst your halos and skylines, I will scream the shattering of your insides to windows and photographs until there is nothing left but reverberations. And why do all of you have to burn so? Sitting amongst you in crowded rooms with irrelevant words to keep me company, watching you flicker and gutter in pain. And why do you have to hate the world so and why are you so afraid to be something good? Or maybe you aren't capable. Regardless, the more time i spend around you the more i know i don't want to be a part of this anymore. I've defended you for too long, betrayers, traitors, lost children. I've had enough.
And I will associate expressions of manifest affection with peril and perversion and I'm so sorry. No words to explain, but my soul hurts at the thought. Fuck it, I'll do what's right next time.

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly