x newest x older x profile x notes x kelly x poems x diaryland x
I wish
11:46 p.m. 2005-05-20

And i wish things were different. I wish i could write this letter to you and make you feel the regret and shame the desperation and this twisting inside my gut. I wish these words could really convey the way this feels. I wish that this life was anything but. I wish I was happy, that i could find meaning. I wish i could find something to hold on to and i wish i could steal your smile. I wish I could wake up to the sunlight tomorrow morning without fear. I wish that I had never broken and I wish that i really wanted to change.
And I hate the way it has to be. These sentences and null. Unwritten letters, conversations long overdue. I hate the way it feels I hate the way they smile and the way you laugh. I hate my inability to create and my fear. I hate my honesty and my lies I hate. I hate my empathy and apathy. I hate this contradiction and the bittersweet taste roiling on my lips. I hate...
And I regret...

But mostly I wish i didn't.

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly