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By the End
10:32 p.m. 2005-03-08

Your scream is beautiful, your pain transcendant. Will you let me burn you one last time? He is trying to break out of the shell you've given him and i've been spoken for. You are no fucking symphony. This is not my voice these are the words you should never have had to hear. Create your tension through firings of nerves as the night fades into a blur and I missed the perfect chance for a picture when you were framed with light. We'll never get it right until you stop posing. A fragmentary split between your mind and your heart as the splinters of silver pierce the canvas. This is not the time for happy songs and this is not the time for depression. You were right around the corner when i was at my worst, weren't you? The thing I love about this is that you are a mirror image of the melting souls that scarred my heart with their apathy. You are the reflection of everything I ever thought could be perfect and I will name you. I will find a name to depict these phrases and the image scratched into my heart. "What is worth dying for?" We all want something to hold onto with everything and I am not hopeless, I am not a waste of time. Can you look in the mirror and play their songs and smile knowing that you will get better? This is not going to be something fatal. This is not going to be eternal and is happiness really what you want forever and ever. Send up your pain in smoke and flame and we'll never speak of it again a primal night undersky understar and is this diction appropriate for the emotion that is spoken in the quiet moments when they aren't listening.

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly