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You've got nothing on this
10:12 p.m. 2005-02-08

Giving you away with the whispered resonance of our favorite song as the mixtapes burn in an alternate reality where the songs define us and the endings are something perfect. So what if we aren't what who we'd always wanted and maybe I can say for sure someday that you mean nothing to me. It wasn't meant to turn out this way she said but I don't think we had any choice. In the perfect memories shared and cherished there is a hope for a future that defies imagining and makes us bleed at the thought. Temper the stories to create something refined and delicate. Sacrifice the neverending promise for hope and his arms around your neck. I don't want you but I can't help feeling that I'm left with nothing. I have myself, the thoughts in my head echoing and I have a future. It feels like i've given up one hope and now i'm struggling to find something to dedicate myself to. I just wish that things were different that i'd lived a different life. Because it seems like all these roads, all these efforts have brought me to this point where nothing is real and the essence of beauty is fading. I can't create something to take your place even knowing that you weren't worth holding onto. Just the same I'd never want to hurt you. This hollow feeling and the anticipation of waking up to the same things over and over and over again. Its time for a change, i thought that changing us would be enough but its just another ending and another void. Someone show me where to go how to live and how to be a real person. "I want to be a real boy."

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly