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10:37 p.m. 2005-01-28

They asked us what went wrong as the beauty collapsed inward in a burst of dust smelling faintly of your perfume. The cataracts that defined us are lefted building behind broken smiles and tearful eyes and this is the night i forget you. Established fact paramount to the sense of impending starlight slipping past your window in the shattering of glass and the stuttering steps half drunk on this emotion. Order the lines and send the letters as the photographs lining this wall bloom color and a radiant tinge of nostalgia. Shape the beautiful image of you in the headlights of this car and the memories that were pasted on the wall. Maybe tonight i'll forget you. Maybe tomorrow i'll look at your picture and remember what it was like to know you cared. If you see me smiling at you its simply because i've put behind me all the pouring forth of lies that made you seem so far away. In the days spanning these conflicts i am free to imagine the beautiful feeling waiting for me behind those passive eyes. As long as you aren't saying goodbye i can imagine tomorrow as something from the stories they used to tell us. So we worried how they felt and it tore us apart and with the new day the snow is fresh and the footprints have faded. Maybe it would be ok to tell myself you really cared. "if you asked me what was wrong i'd say that no one is doing fine we're all fucked up and doing time..." Tonight i can imagine you in the beautiful skies and the flawless features that stood out so perfectly. Tonight you are doing dances in my dreams, simple steps in moonlight as the dock sways with the water, you always were so beautiful and i always was afraid to tell you. I still am. A swan dive into this crystal pool that sends the shimmers cascading around your body as you smile at me. Is this perfect? No. But it is beautiful. And will you ever take your place in my dreams as the girl who named the stars with such clarity and vision? Its funny, today i was on the verge of tears and you were standing across the room. Did you notice? Those words still kill me dear, even though you're not singing them anymore.
Those words will always kill me

back & forth
words @ jake, layout @ kelly