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Tinderbox Triumphs
12:07 a.m. 2004-09-11

So we lie here in our beds searching for the words. This is a moment of etheral silence and your shadow is paperthin in the doorway. I could never promise you anything that meant anything because i have nothing to give and in the dark these headlights move with the grace and elegance of a cloud sustained by whisps of memories and the scraps of photographs that she tore as she walked out the door. What can i say to express myself and what can i do to prove to you that i was never any good. And its up to you dreamer girl with the far away eyes, its your responsibility. Its your turn to sit in front of this screen and take all my words and find truth. Because I'm lying every time i try to tell you that nothing was ever what it seemed and i'm watching you walk away every night. So she said she was wasting her time and there was nothing left to say so i lied and she tried to understand but the end result is the same every time. In waking i find that you aren't lying next to me and that this spectre of a good thing is here to haunt and there's no hope under the sheets. I remember the way your hair covered the pillow in exctacy and simplicity. I wish you were someone who could understand but this resonance is indicated in the unhealing scars that trace pale skin. Hidden in the shining traces of an afterglow left by the car that crashed into us, we are left in a palpable state of regret and misunderstanding. You never understood. So what if this is the same thing again and again in geniune poetry you could find the truth you'd forgotten in the long shadows. Blink and you are blind and through our imperfections we perceive the essence of this contrast that leaves fragments of neon in our eyes as we turn away from the shower. Glimpses through windows of the life you'd rather be living can you even bear to read this knowing that i'm falling apart every time. Fuck all of you who can't understand and fuck all of you who can't grasp the significance of this. When the morning sun casts its last edge on your bed you'll finally understand and maybe this time you won't be so afraid of feeling. Fuck you

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly