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I have no faith
9:42 p.m. 2004-06-09

The taste of regret and an ending to a beginning and i'll pull away like every time these tears entwined with blood to make up my everything. Double helix heaven and hell the darkness inside is burning away my breath and I'm so fucking selfpitying and how do you put up with me? I'm never there i'm never fucking there and ever choice was the wrong one and we're just lost. did you know there was a single page that just tore me apart, paper stiffened by tears and the handwriting is the only time i've ever seen the real me, words pouring out without consent i bled

And tonight i can sing just like them and i hate it what am i but a mistake at birth and everything after twisted backwords to create a hole where life was supposed to be. reduce me to tears and you'll see who i truly am hiding and afraid while i lie to you.

There was never anything beautiful about any of this. (it wasn't you, i break everything i touch)

its times like these when there's no release and this isn't making it any better... can you hear me? (just a taste of the words on that page)

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly