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6:55 p.m. 2004-05-22

Pour out this self pity like warm water in bathrooms on the coldest days of the year. Can't you see that its only through our own self loathing that we gain understanding of others and how naive can we pretend to be? Every belief is nestled in justification and the only open minded person is the one who believes nothing. We're all set in the conviction we carry deep inside, as substantial as these wispwhite clouds above rooftops over suburbian utopias. I've given up beliefs before, you would call me faithless, but i've realized i'm growing... i need this drive to sort out my life. Look back through months and see the changes i've made the person i've become and am i different? I'd be the first to admit i didn't know what i was or who i was becoming but the truth is its set in stone here like these typed letters meant everything to you and me and the sky just beyond the ceiling. I can't describe to you the chills running up and down this frail body as it revels in the imperfections that define its existence, this soul is grounded in stars and realities that hold no excuse. This white backdrop is being lighted by the color of your eyes and the smile on your lips is the whole world. (who are we to pretend) I don't care what you tell me as long as its genuine... that's all that matters is that its something from deep in the quiet places where you think and dream. (color the world with your daydreams and fancies) we dont' need promises just shared glances through windowpanes. Asphalt and (this jarring reality)

Its only through the depths of our despair that the sun feels bright and the smiles seem so flawless and eternal. our pain is what gives us the capacity to love and smile and this is why i can love you all so much (this is the meaning of the pain i'd misjudged for so long) have i told you that you're beautiful?

I had it so wrong and the fact that that makes me smile is perfect

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly