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what would u do? 10:01 p.m. 2004-05-07 We need this this incandescent rainstorm of hurt and smiles and neverending nonchalance where are you neverender to save my soul and make this broken boy whole for it seems that my declaration is not the words spoken but the numbers written on walls in cells where the shadows are complete and sunshine has forgotten me in all its arrogance and golden glory speak to me these forgotten apologies and halffelt halfplanned explanations of why you never where what you claimed to be and how everything is black and white and shades of gray this blood won't fade from shirts or hands or eyelids squeezed shut against cutting edge disinterest and a brand new obsession paint these walls the colors of frailty and hang pictures on walls showing the progression of my losing everything (not with a bang but with a whimper) i guess it meant something when you promised to deny me my happiness but not what you think i guess you didn't know me that well anyway and everything i think or say must be wrong because that's who i am right i never lie but who's to say if that's the truth after all and i'm firm here in my belief that the corpse looking back is the conspirator behind this prise and where is my neverender and the junesong provision to make me whole take all of me until there's nothing left and give it back in whispers of lies and immaculatly flawed faces behind registers in buildings belonging to an entity without its only through my emptiness that i am able to function coherently and that's the worst thing ever but why do i love to hurt myself this much and i'm coming to realize i'm a perfect black in this white diamond as i'm starting to see that we're so different and it wasn't what i went out looking for and upon my return i meant nothing to anyone and everything was changed and broken and black and white countertops never seemed this horrible before did you know i'd bury myself before i let you see me at ends and yet what is this but a cry for help that will be ignored as poetic liscence and interconnectivity wasn't the way it was supposed to be did you know i had the deepest cuts along the insides of arms and hearts and these eyes are only beautiful in the amber heartbreak that echoes so resonantly (why can't you see) we're wide awake on floors well past midnight with dreams of god and faith ruining everything between our eyelids would you see the liquid here too blind to speak or see or even feel we are masterpieces dollface why can't you appreciate that you're being broken I have nothing to say
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