Your bullet my time to die
3:03 p.m. 2004-03-08
The beat of your heart a steady rhthym against the hate you hold in your heart for people like me. You won't stop until you make me cry. And someday that's all i'll be a tear in the eye and a memory no one cares about. Curled up on the floor wide eyed and dreaming that was the boy you thought i used to be but never really saw. The truth was he never existed. Fuck the consequences this time. Long term planning never saved anybody and heaven's a gravel pit at the end of the road. High rise cemetaries this time i see the truth. This time i'm dying and this time i'm god. Nothing you say can hurt me as much as things you've already said and what's done is done and we're pretty much done here i think. The only frustration you ever shelved were the ones that screaming about couldn't help and the only time you thought about what it meant to everyone involved was when you were the center of attention. Even so. You've become all too human lately.
"I stay wrecked and jealous for this for the simple reason i just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life."
If i had the sense of style i could tell you eloquently but once again the words don't come out and i can't feel anything... not even from you right now. sometimes you think that everything you say is golden and the rest of the time we're arguing over this. Its all my fault this time and this time i can't find a way to care. You'll kill us all before we're through and the magic that this all brought never wears off when you realize that they're singing together about different gurls. I know exactly what goes on and... its not the words but the emotions conveyed by this sense of purpose. When everthing you get isn't enough to make you smile even a little bit its not worth it. Don't try to explain to me cuz nothing you say can make me understand it seems something lacking on my part seperates.
Its just a hypothetical situation of course but i can't sing the songs like them so here i am silent once more.
It makes me wonder where these words are coming from