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After the fire/the great schism
6:42 p.m. 2004-03-01

This chunk of metal in my hands reminds me of the person i almost became. Hearing this distinctive click over and over as my hands go through nervous habits never to be broken paints a vivid picture in my head. A pencil sketch of what you spoke of. I tried to draw it once, but that isn't how i remember it. I remember it the way i did the moment u said it. You probably don't even remember the words, but i do. Smelling these fumes makes me nervous, recalling habits i decided to break and promised not to take up again. A simple thing really, to bring so much back to me.

What would my life be today if i had walked down that path then? Who knows.

Alternate reality picturing the two of us together years from now. We both do it but i haven't shared the hidden imagery sneaking up on me when i smell this. And I'll let you wonder for a while because its fun to wonder.

My future divided between so many lives so many possibilities and all of them so perfect. What will i become?

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly