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7:58 p.m. 2004-01-25

Sometimes we run out of words but our mouths don't run out and we just go on and on with the same old speech are you getting tired of this? I'm so tired.

Its nothing but another party draped in black and tears and if there's dancing and laughter i'm going to hate you all even more. you always take away take away. Why do i hate my own family so offhandedly? I can't understand that, buti can' help but hate them. And ihate how all of you tell me not to be selfish but you can't give an inch for my sake. Some of the things you consider selfless on your part aren't because when you adopted me you promised to take care of me. You chose to spend the money on me so don't pretend i bleed you.

If you can pull me away from a week of school to look at a dead man i met three times then i can take a week off to see the girl i love. If you try to deny me that then you can just fuck off. I never promised you anything. But i give you a lot more than you realize. My cooperation.

celebrate the day i was born with shades of black and a casket. On my birthday i'll watch them lower him into the ground and i'll wonder why i waste my time with you..

I don't feel childish or adolescently stupid when i think about how much i dislike you. Do i sound like i am?

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly