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you've got your gun to my head
9:15 p.m. 2003-12-01

why am i near tears tonight, its not really surprising. This is the extent of my existence, perpetually moments away from breaking down, holding onto these little things to keep me strong. And lately, when these pains seek manifestation, when the tears press against my eyelids and my soul feels liquid and heavy, i've pondered release. I want to sit and watch a beautiful sunset/sunrise or just something beautiful, with beautiful songs floating in the air and i want to just pour out all the pain until there's nothing left and i'm left pleasantly numb. But i can't do that without you holding me, without your hands resting lightly on my body. Because i want you to see the beauty in the ugliness and i want you to know that with my crying the pain is slipping away and i'm becoming whole.

i want you to know everything if you want to know anything because you took the time to try and see past the surface. Granted i gave all of you a better chance than most.

Princess and will you tell all your friends?

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly