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7:48 p.m. 2003-11-30

Scream in the sweetest voice and you'll understand me. When your cries of rage and pain equate to a simple, echoing melody you'll be echoing my inner self. All this torment and all these seething undulating hatreds boils down to nothing and even my tears evaporate in the heat. And what it all leaves behind is... misty hazy half formed illusions and a core of raindrops and shimmering smiling memories. Everything i've ever forgotten adds up somewhere inside, and it matters. Everything i remember compounds and refracts and becomes a million times more powerful, but its all just a speck in my eyes. Can you see the thoughts floating there?

Hold your breath because you'll only make things worse.

i wish i could sit here all day and write you pretty little insanities and somehow find a way to describe the depth of all this, but i'm still drowning in it (please don't save me) and i can't put it into words yet.

we need more words to describe beautiful, because they all apply to you

I love you all even if you hate me, if you can still feel then i love you. don't disappear, don't die just to stop breathing, find a reason and hold onto it, and if it slips away find another. The most pathetic life in the world deserves to continue

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly