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Wrap Around Wings and Celestial Bling
9:29 p.m. 2003-11-27

Everything falls apart

A few years later i want to be this person and i see him in my head and its an oddly clear picture for someone like me.

I want to be in a band, and i want to sing beautiful songs and just get lost in the music, in my feelings and the emotions i pour into every word. I want to scream onstage and have people love me for it. I want people to connect with my songs and i want them to fall in love with me without ever saying a word to me because they know me from my music. And i never want to lie in my songs or my posture or anything i do. I want to have tattoos everywhere, and i want wear long sleeves to cover them up until she can see them when i crawl into bed with her at the end of the day. I want to cover my walls in lyrics and paintings and just anything i think is beautiful. I want to look into a tv camera and speak to a million people in an interview. Because i want to say something that matters and i want everyone out there to know. I want someone to watch me on tv and feel like i'm talking to them.

I want to start a band and i want people to listen and i want groupies, even though i think they're dumb, i just want people to feel like they know us because of what we play. But i have to find people who think like me and who have the talent and depth to write the songs i want to create.

Sometimes i feel so senseless and shallow and... nothing will flow and the music feels so brittle beneath my fingers.

"You're everything i ever thought i wouldn't turn out to be but i look in the mirror and there you are, waiting for me."- i kinda like that...

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly