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7:42 p.m. 2003-11-19

Burn into everything you ever thought you would be and realize that once and for all you'll never be the same again/ i fall into this bottomless nothing and everyone is saying how i've gotten so much better but no one knows how i feel because no one knows what its like to be me to be a part of all of this to be....// becoming broken these splints and casts and bandages are all falling away... patchs are only temporary beautiful girl and all that anyone can do is just patch me up for a little while if there's a way to heal its somewhere inside this twisted bleeding crying boy... but i haven't found it yet i think maybe you know where it is but not even you can teach me how to look for it

CANT BREATH this space is too tight crushing in imperceptably the hollow words and unmistakable promises hint at betrayal and the wind smells like blood tonight. The moon is red and the sky is crying at us hide little children vengance is coming and in your dark little hearts, in the places no one sees, every one of you knows that you don't want to be here when it comes. Because all of us are sinners and no one really wants to go to hell.

You know something you have no right to be who you are while you do the things you do. The blood and the scars prove you're not changing at all and the fact that i care so much about you means that every cut wounds me. And you know what, i'm not selfish and i put others before myself most of the time but i need you to know that i dunno if i can stand to remember you like this. I'm not sure i want to stand so close to your fire, but i know i don't want you to be alone. Does any of that make sense? Don't worry about it though, i'm just trying to be honest, i'll never give up on you

Forever seems to be the only reason left to go through every individual day because you aren't here all the time and when you're not everything seems grey and sandy and i wish it would all just blow away and leave us alone

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly