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desperate
10:03 p.m. 2003-10-29

Its only a few hours a day and i wish i could hold onto them forever.

BREAK ME DOWN AND KILL ME ALREADY

When i'm not down there in the dark in the warmth, holding you safe with you, everything falls apart and i can't. fucking. breath. Seriously i can't concentrate anymore and all i want to do is slip away. right now ur my reason to stay awake stay... alive. And the scary part is, this is so good right now, the only good thing in my life and its the most amazing thing. I've never loved anyone before. But the thing is, i want to end it sometimes. Not because of you dear, because of me. Because you make me so amazingly glad to be alive. And if it wasn't for you i could just drown in this feeling and bleed into whatever happens. But i won't love don't worry, i won't let you get away from me ;) at least not until you're ready to leave. I love u too much to pretend i didn't care, i can hardly ever stop thinking about you. But you understand right? The constant urge to break my own heart? Just keep being you and i won't ever let my stupid urges end this. You do understand right? Just know i love you

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly