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last beautiful girl
11:20 a.m. 2003-10-11

I've never really tried this before... never tried to pain this portrait of the perfect girl... but i feel like trying now, because i have a model now, i just need the words to fill it out a little. I love you

I want a girl with an edge, who doesn't take life sitting down. Who has the capacity for that beautiful rage which is unacceptable today. I want a girl who can cry, for any reason, who understands beauty and who understands that sometimes, things are ugly and hard and dirty and isn't afraid to let the tears wash some of that away. I want a girl who's smarter than i am, at least sometimes, because otherwise things would get boring. I want a girl who'll be herself for me, not be who she thinks i want her to be. I want an emo girl and everything that means. I want a girl who hurts, like me, so i don't have to be afraid to let the pain show. I want a girl who's beautiful when she laughs, even if she thinks she isn't. I want a special girl, a girl that no one else has and does things no other girl would do. I want a girl who cares about me, even though i can't understand why she would. I want a girl who lets me know what she's thinking, and wonders what i'm thinking. I want a girl who's comfortable around me and knows she can do whatever she wants because i love her but its her life. I want a girl who isn't afraid of how i'll react. I want a girl who's beautiful... in a way that no other girl is beautiful. I mean that she isn't like a magazine cover, that she has her own style... kinda goes back to thinking for herself right. I want a girl who I can't keep my hands off. I want the girl i see in you.

Even as i write this, i'm afraid that i'm completely off, but this is how i see u or how i see u becoming someday, hopefully someday soon ;) i love you

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly