8:39 p.m. 2003-09-23
Its about letting go. About detachment, letting your anger and your jealousy and your rage and hurt and sadness, letting them all become seperate from your inner self. Because the only person that matters at heart, is you. In some ways i've done this, some ways it works. Because i've let go of rage, Because its a waste of time to be angry with someone else when you're the only thing you can change. And love, love is because you've accepted that someone can actually care about you, and that's the hardest thing in the world for some people. And when you can love someone, and someone can love you, it brings some of the color back to life. Not, necessarily because love is such a grand thing, but because when you are in love, it becomes so much harder to focus on the dull things in life and its hard to find the negative all the time, because someone loves you. Love creeps into you and bleeds through your veins, creeping to your eyes and painting the world its own perfect colors.
Its about loving 15 seconds of a song, about loving an offkey voice just because it has so much too it. Its about... seeing everything and loving it, not condeming it.
And i think, that if you understand something, it loses its magic. I hope no one ever finds the reason for love.
Its moments like this. Bone tired and sleepy, a kind of numb electricity lacing up and down your skin, the lids of your eyes pleasantly warm and heavy. A million different thoughts shifting fluidly through your head, most of them never emerging from the constant stream, just a steady flow of liquid enlightenment that you're too comfortable to drink from. So many thoughts, most going unaknowledged, and you know that somewhere among them, there are all the answers, everything anyone ever wanted to know. But at that moment, things are too perfect, for no particular reason, that you wouldn't dare interrupt this, struggling to understand. So you sit back and smile.