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Falling Deeper
8:17 p.m. 2003-09-18

I ask so many questions, trying to find reasons, trying to understand everything. Because everything here has a purpose, every thought every action, they're all made for a reason. And i want to understand the reasons, i think someone needs too, and no one else cares. But people grow defensive, and the more there is to know about them, the less they show you. And I'm getting tired, tired of asking, tired of being pushed away, tired of being forgotten, tired of...

Someone has to care, someone has to put themselves before others. So many try, but their own desires get the best of them in the end. And they hide and they change and they become the people they watched. I understand why now... i think i always understood. It hurts. And you bleed in silence and you're too busy watching to heal. And you crumple eventually. I'm tired of watching, i'm tired of caring too much about people who don't give a damn. I'm so tired of bleeding.

But I won't stop, because i don't have another way. And if i was to let all this go, I'd have to feel so at home first. And lately things have been all to uncomfortable.

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly