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Get up and try again.
7:58 p.m. 2003-09-10

And there are so many things i need to say but, as usual, things don't work like they're supposed to.

Everyday is the same and impossibly hard. Everything is shadows and clouds and rain and I need a ray of sunshine to make things better. Sometimes it feels like you're the only thing that can do the trick. But on days like these, days when i need you the most, i'm afraid to see you, because on days like these all i'm good for are cruel words and off center sarcasm. And i want you to be happy. ~~!

Maybe the root of the problem is that I've never related. I mean i can understand nearly anyone, can step into their shoes and see things their way. But, i've never been able to be alone in the dark with someone. I thought for a while [ShE] would just let me sit alone with her in the dark place, but right when i needed her, she healed. All the musicians who i thought understood, shared my pain, they all have wife's and kids and sing about how they're getting better. I'm not. At least not yet ~~!

It feels like tomorrow maybe just slip through my fingers. Evidence of the fading warmth is full blown in your words. But something weak in me won't move to change. ~~!

I warned you this would happen, but now that it comes to this I wish i was wrong. Is it too late to change? ~~!

Honesty bleeds... honestly

back & forth

words @ jake, layout @ kelly