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Thanks for the bracelet!
9:01 p.m. 2003-08-14

For a while there i thought i should see about being diagnosed with depression, but i realize lately that i've never had trouble smiling. I may bleed and i may shiver in the cold and sometimes it may feel like there's nothing to live for. But there is life and it runs in my veins and its warmth is undeniable. And all my efforts to shut myself inside my dank little prison denied that. Any feeling is more suitable than emptiness. For too long i relied on sadness and melancholy to keep me company.

I've never felt lost i've never felt alone and i've never let myself get trapped, by anything except myself. And i'm tired of being bitter i'm tired of being bored with life. Either let me die or give me a purpose. Cuz i'm smiling and i've forgotten how to cry and i don't think that's such a wonderful thing.

Beautiful imperfections, flaws that make a pearl worthless but no less perfect. I'm dying and i'm smiling and i'm not sad

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words @ jake, layout @ kelly