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- 9:46 p.m. 2003-07-20 1 my name is jake 2 I started like that cuz everyone else does 3 I have nothing against my name, but i hate my last name 4 Come to think of it i hate my first name too 5 I can speak spanish and compared to spanish english sucks 6 I also play guitar... i'm a guitar god hah 7 I think kelly is beautiful 8 She doesn't 9 I also think she's crazy 10 she says i'm crazy 11 Everyone says that about me 12 I don't care 13 secretly it hurts haha no 14 you don't know anything about me 15 and you won't know anymore when this is done 16 I hate myself 17 but its worse at night 18 I'm ugly and insecure 19 but you would never guess 20 it should be raining 21 or snowing... anything that's cold 22 writing this suddenly seems like a bad idea 23 its too damn long 24 and probably pretty fucking boring 25 I'm obsessed with music 26 Music is the vernacular of human existence 27 What the fuck does vernacular mean 28 i think i should be dead 29 But i don't have the balls to do anything about it 30 its not that its scary 31 just... i think things could get worse for me and i'm looking forward to that 32 That's just sick 33 most people nod their heads and mutter something about insane asylums 34 I don't want to be happy 35 but i want u to be happy 36 and u say u want me to be happy and it gets all tangled up and confused 37 Anyone who likes me is an idiot 38 anyone who talks to me is an idiot 39 i don't feel sorry for myself 40 i feel sorry for u, ur wasting ur time 41 there was this time... at band camp... 42 random people are funny as hell 43 I hate smiling 44 i love to make people laugh 45 but i don't think anything i say is funny 46 can u tell that its all about me yet? 47 Being able to draw is the greatest gift in the world 48 I'm left handed 49 I could sit for hours watching her draw... i miss her so much 50 She was beautiful and she knew it 51 i wonder what it woulda been if i had let myself love her 52 God is a bastard 53 I was christian for most of my life 54 Christianity is too innocent for any christian to ever really be alive 55 I can understand italian and portuguese 56 i knew a kid who spoke 6 languages 57 he was an idiot though 58 It should be required that every college graduate speaks at least two languages 59 i estimate i have a 45 year lifespan 60 cuz i really don't wanna get old 61 and i don't wanna be rich 62 cuz i knew rich kids and i didn't like any of them 63 I'm lucky as hell 64 who would i be if i hadn't been adopted 65 who would i be if i hadn't met her? 66 Who will i be in 10 years 67 i know i'll be a lush 68 or a musician 69 probably both 70 I look smart wearing glasses 71 but otherwise i just look like i did too many drugs 72 which is funny cuz i don't do drugs 73 i should though 74 I wonder if i've changed much in the past 4 years 75 I wonder if you'll ever make sense to me... i doubt it 76 I want to know everything about you... but i'll never ask 77 i like missing you almost as much as i like being with u 78 I what that she was still here it would be good to talk to her 79 Other people are interesting 80 i'm not 81 but i wouldn't rather be someone else 82 i dunno why 83 no dreams means no disappointment 84 and no fulfillment 85 religion is hollow 86 the only thing real is interaction between two people 87 and two guys talking is never interesting 88 i'm scared to tell people they're beautiful 89 cuz i'm afraid it'll offend them 90 even though i think most people love to hear it from anyone 91 love is weird 92 if u talk to me when i'm like this you'd probably think i was fuckd up too 93 at night i sometimes forget to lie 94 i used to think i had mpd 95 i never get sick 96 she wrote a song about him and he couldn't stop singing it 97 he cried for her at night because he felt her pain 98 then she left and he stopped crying 99 and he tells me he's forgotten how 100 a hundred words a hundred lines a hundred lies and every one as golden as the last |