11:35 p.m. 2003-06-27
Fuck this. I'll have no more writing, no more cheap answers, no more trick escapes. CAN"T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT I DON"T CARE WHAT YOU THINK? Any of you. I can't bear to care what you think of me. Because i know that you're wrong. all of you. None of you have any hold, any claim, on me. Because i belong to no one. The only thing that has any hold on this burnt lightly bleeding lost boy, is this strangely heavy hole in my chest. You'd think ripping out my heart would make it lighter in there. I want to take a walk tonight... and i want to look up at the stars and see everything shining beautifully one last time
And i want to drown.... In myself, my misery, in alcohol, or the water of the river. I don't care.
Love never hurt anyone so badly.
Last words, last night here with these thoughts. because after tonight I'm never going to bother with these things again. I don't think i'll last long like that, so i guess this is good bye.