12:26 p.m. 2003-06-24
I feel so tired, so numb. Like everything has iced over and happiness is a snowflake on the other side. I feel like everything should just go, like it's too much trouble to fall in love, too much trouble to even breathe. And I can't understand how you put so much effort into this, I can't understand why you would want to.
But most importantly, I feel like it isn't worth going on, like being alive isn't worth the struggle. You may not think it, but I've tried so hard to change for you. But it hasn't worked and now I'm so tired... I think I'll go home and just lie very still.
I'm trying hard to forget that cold october
day, when love challenged freedom to a fist fight, freedom looked victorious
but No one was prepared for what would happen on that baseball diamond when
love reached beneath her plaid jumper, pulled out a switch blade and drove
it...directly through the heart of st angelis. Any notion of self government
was left bleeding on the pitchers mound.