I want you to know that I miss you, even though you can't hear me anymore. I miss you so much, and I feel like I've never needed you more. Because you understood me, and more importantly, you lived this. I think that if I could hear your voice right now, if I could look into your eyes and know you were with me, then I think I would be able to get by. But right now I just don't know.

I miss you so much, and I want so badly to come and join you. But no one understands and no one would accept my going. So all I can say is I miss you. You have my heart, cold and black as it is.

I miss you.

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